An experiment in Germanic alliteration.
This was an interesting one. Written to the Meet the Bar with a Beat challenge set up by DVerse. I do like a bit of alliteration but the flow of this Germanic verse is different to what I would usually use.
Feel free to comment, feedback is always appreciated.
© Stephen Buttigieg 2024
Stephen Buttigieg - Words 
Your formatting of the lines works beautifully, Stephen, in emphasizing the caesuras. I enjoyed the rhythmic flow of alliteration, but especially how the story of wintry desolation/love’s loss is developed so beautifully through the imagery. Loved the photo.
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The photo really inspired the poem. I wasn’t sure what to write about and wanted to try the challenge so I went through some old albums to see if there was anything that could light a spark.
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Your alliterative poem is neatly composed, Stephen, and the layout emphasises this. I like the contrast of the hardness of ‘Cold now the clamour’ with the sibilance of ‘celestial sleep’ and ‘Its shadow sits as shapeless form’, which is almost a whisper.
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So glad you caught on that particularly the last line which I imagined to fade out slowly.
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I agree with you that the stressed words have to be words that would be stressed naturally in spoken English. That’s what gives the phrase its rhythm.
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thanks for taking the time to read it.
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Beautifully done. I like that you’ve mastered the form and that you’ve used line breakage (indentation) to capture that pause. I am smitten most with those last four lines.
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I tend to use indentation rather than punctuation. Mind you it was a pain redoing all my poetry once I decided to take that step and have one style thoughout my poetry book 🙂
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Very well done. I like the ending with the shadow lingering after our loved ones have passed!
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Thanks!
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You are welcome.
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I like how you laid this out as no need for punctuation showing caesura. The final drove the mood home very well.
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Thank you.
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YW
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final line, that is
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Like the formatting a lot, and it works when read aloud, the belief born in brightest light works well with me.
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You nailed the beat, methinks!
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Hi Yvonne. Thanks!
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